"SORRY, I CAN'T SPEED, I HAVE AN INSURANCE TRACKER" – The Ultimate Funny Sticker 🚗💸

Listen up, turbo gremlins. You think you were born to break the sound barrier? You think the streets were yours to conquer? WRONG. Your insurance company has neutered your horsepower with that snitch box strapped under your dashboard. This funny sticker is here to let tailgaters know that you would be obliterating the speed of light, IF NOT FOR BIG INSURANCE.

THIS FUNNY STICKER LETS THE WORLD KNOW YOU’RE BEING WATCHED 👀

That insurance tracker is not just a device—it’s a corporate leash. Every acceleration, every sharp turn, judged. Every sudden stop? Fined. That’s why you roll through stop signs like a granny on a Sunday drive. This sticker? Your public excuse for driving like an NPC in a traffic simulator.

🏆 WHY YOU NEED THIS STICKER:

✅ Premium weatherproof vinyl – Tougher than your agent’s fake promises of a "better rate." 🚗💨
✅ UV & water-resistant – Unlike your ability to drive freely, this one won’t fade.☀️🌊
✅ Bold, high-visibility design – Because your suffering needs to be seen.
✅ Strong adhesive backing – Sticks harder than that one speeding ticket ruining your record.🔥
✅ Easy removal – For when you finally yeet that tracker and go FULL SEND. 😈

WHERE TO FLEX THIS GLORIOUS EXCUSE:

• 🚗 Your car – Because your "spirited driving" days are over.

• 💻 Laptop – Let the Zoom meeting know that corporate surveillance is real.

• 🚦 Stop sign – You weren’t gonna stop anyway, might as well warn ‘em.

• 🎒 Backpack – For students who dream of rebellion but obey crosswalk signals.

• 🍕 Fridge – Apologize in advance for eating the last slice while being tracked.

🚨 THE BRUTAL TRUTH BEHIND THIS STICKER 🚨

You didn’t choose this slow life. The slow life chose you. One day you were zooming, the next, some clipboard warrior at Insurance HQ decided you needed to be babysat by an algorithm. Now? You accelerate slower than a mid-2000s Dell laptop booting up.

WHO NEEDS THIS STICKER?

• 🏎️ Ex-speed demons – You used to be a menace, now you just drive responsibly.

• 🚔 People who’ve been pulled over too many times – But you’ve changed.

• 🏁 Wannabe racers – But Big Insurance won’t let you live your dream.

• 🚘 Anyone with a tracker installed – Welcome to the no-fun club.

• 💀 Anyone who has seen their insurance bill triple – R.I.P. your bank account.

STICKER SPECS:

📏 8.5" x 3"
🛠 Material: Premium waterproof vinyl
☀️ Durability: UV-resistant, scratch-proof, and built to last
📦 Finish: Matte for max street cred
💪 Adhesion: Sticks forever (or until your insurance company lets you breathe again)

STOP APOLOGIZING, START WARNING PEOPLE.

You thought you were built for speed. Turns out, you were built for avoiding penalty fees. Get your Funny Sticker now and let the world know you’re shackled by insurance tyranny.

Picture this: You pull up to a red light. Next to you? A 2003 Honda Civic with a busted muffler revving menacingly. You WANT to smoke them. You COULD smoke them. But then you remember—

THE TRACKER.

That little black box under your dash, sending every microsecond of your behavior straight to the corporate overlords. One hard acceleration? BOOM—higher premium. One “aggressive” turn? BOOM—credit score impact (probably). You sigh. You let the Civic win. You go home in shame.

This sticker? It’s your legal defense. If anyone tailgates, points, or mocks your slow acceleration, just let the Funny Sticker speak for you. Stick it on your ride, your laptop, your forehead—let Big Insurance know you SEE them.

This is your warning label. A middle finger to the system. Order now and own your slow, monitored existence.

Shop All

Follow us on Instagram